No more babies

So, I'm having this procedure done on Saturday that will take care of birth control FOREVER. I'm feeling very sad because while I know I don't want to be pregnant at age 46, it's just weird to know that once this procedure is done, that's it. There is no chance of pregnancy ever again. Just experiencing mixed emotions about the whole thing. I've always felt bad that Evan doesn't have any siblings but if I had had another baby, there was the chance of pre-eclampsia developing again and I got really sick the first time around. We were lucky it didn't develop until 30 weeks and that he made it until 33 weeks. Very lucky. We were very lucky that I didn't have seizures or experience organ failure. It's a scary condition and it scared us enough to not take that chance. Plus, we were pretty caught up in all of Evan's medical stuff for the those first few years that I couldn't imagine dealing with a pregnancy/baby while dealing with a trach and feeding tube! By the time Evan was in preschool and things were going well, I was just too damn old and tired to think about starting again! The only thing I am looking forward to on Saturday is the Valium and Percocet that I get to take. :)