Saturday, May 31, 2008
A lazy day
I gave myself permission not to do anything today and it was kind of nice. I normally have the feeling that I always have to be doing something productive and typically on a Saturday that means cleaning my house. I have a tendency to feel guilty if I'm not doing something-isn't that horrible? I think that's how it is for alot of women. Anyhow, last night there were threats of severe weather-it always seems to hit us in the middle of the night. As you know, I don't sleep well anyhow so add a tornado watch on top of insomnia and we've got trouble! I actually fell asleep about 11:30 but woke up at 12:30 thanks to the weather radio that my sister gave us. I hadn't used it before but decided to plug it in last night-oh God, talk about giving me a heart attack. It went off because there was a severe thunderstorm warning in a county at least a hour away. As you can imagine, I turned the damn thing off because I knew it would just continue to go off all night. So, I was up until after 3 then Evan came in our room close to 5 because he saw lightning. Forget sleep. It was a complete and utter train wreck of a night. So, while I did walk 3 miles this morning and manage to do a couple loads of laundry, I didn't do much else. I even took a little nap. I'm now just counting down the minutes until I can go to bed!!
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Indiana Jones
We went to see the new Indiana Jones movie today. For those of you who don't know, Indy is my son's current obsession. He knows all there is to know about Raiders of the Lost Ark and he's got quite a few of the IJ Lego sets. He loves to listen to the Raiders of the Lost Ark soundtrack over and over again (he uses Mike's iPod because I would go nuts if I had to hear it as many times as he listens to it). His friend Andrew has had to tell him to stop singing it!! Anyhow, it was so fun taking him to the movies today. He was so excited-I had as much fun watching him watch the movie as I did seeing Harrison as Indy again. Afterwards he said he was shaking because it was so awesome. He'll probably never forget seeing it. I won't forget it either. Remember how I told you about the pastor at our church doing the kids message based on what someone brings in "the box"? Well, Evan finally had the box last week and when Steve opened it, it took him about a split second to get that it was Lego Indy and Marion holding the Ark of the Covenant. Steve loved it and Evan was just beaming. It brought a tear to my eye. :)
Friday, May 23, 2008
"Cougars 4 Cook"
So, I'm not the only one!!
By ERIN CARLSON, Associated Press Writer Thu May 22, 7:27 PM ET
NEW YORK - "Cougars 4 Cook."
There it was, on a poster in the "American Idol" audience last week, after David Cook belted Roberta Flack's "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face" in the Key of Emo. And that slogan — not to mention the woman who hoisted it — speaks to the 25-year-old singer's popularity with, ahem, women of a certain age.
Maybe it's his edgy-yet-mainstream appeal, sly grin, sparkling hazel eyes, facial scruff, love for crossword puzzles, love for his mom and brothers. Or perhaps it's the way he broke down in tears after his final performance, a rock-anthem arrangement of "The World I Know," which he rebelliously defended from Simon Cowell's criticism.
Somewhere down the line, the Midwest-raised former bartender became a sex symbol for scores of women who are practically old enough to be his mom. And clearly, they voted.
Linda Sharp, smitten as a schoolgirl, voted 473 times for Cook after Tuesday's final performance show. The 42-year-old married mom used her land-line and cell phone — as well as her three daughters' cell phones — to show support for the singer. "The biggest thing: He's legal, and that goes a long way," said Sharp, who's from Austin, Texas. "He's 25. That's old enough that we can openly ogle him, and we can drool over him, and it doesn't make us feel like we could be his mother."
The same couldn't be said for 17-going-on-13 David Archuleta, the kid from Murray, Utah, whose booming, mature voice belies a youthful innocence and humility that, at times, bordered on painful to watch. Cook, by stark contrast, was increasingly self-assured as the year wore on.
Sharp writes "Idol" recaps on her blog "Don't Get Me Started," which attracts the soccer-mom set, who've praised the various talents of Cook. After she posted the "Risky Business"-inspired "Guitar Hero" commercial starring Cook, one commenter said: "Mmmmmmmmmmmmm. Need I say more?" Another wrote: "Have I died? Is this heaven? I'll take it!"
Apparently these women weren't just smitten with a younger man, they were motivated, too: In a landslide victory, Cook, from Blue Springs, Mo., beat Archuleta by a margin of 12 million votes out of the record 97.5 million cast by viewers.
"American Idol" had slipped in the overall ratings this season, but Wednesday's finale was seen by 31.7 million people — about a million more than the year before, according to Nielsen data — suggesting the show swiftly gathered momentum after it boiled down to man vs. boy.
And the biggest viewer erosion in season seven was right in Archuleta's voting bloc. Ratings fell 18 percent among women aged 18-34; and 12 percent among teenagers 12-17. Also apparently in Cook's favor: Viewership has risen among people aged 50 and over, and the median age of an "Idol" viewer, once in the mid-30s, is now up to 42.
"I'm exposed to the Jonas Brothers and the `High School Musical' crowd and all of that, but as cute as I might think they are, they do make me feel maternal — not hot," Sharp said. "So watching David Cook, I think that's been a huge appeal for thirty/forty/fiftysomethings that 'We're not dead.' We might drive the soccer minivan, (but) we're just picky about what perks us up."
Apparently, they can be picky about hair, too.
Michael Slezak, a senior writer at Entertainment Weekly magazine, said Cook became "almost unstoppable" after getting rid of that unfortunate comb-forward haircut in the middle of the seventh season.
"If someone had told me 14 weeks ago that David Cook would turn out to be this season's sex symbol, I wouldn't have believed it," Slezak said. "He had this hideous mop of hair and he looked a little schlubby and, you know, he was just a very average kind of guy with bad hair ... . Getting that side-part during Dolly Parton week was possibly his best strategic move of the season, even more so than his rearrangement of 'Always Be My Baby.'"
With Cook's makeover came growing confidence on stage — and tears. The grainy-voiced rocker recently wept during a show while his older brother, Adam, who is battling advanced brain cancer, sat in the audience. He cried during his hometown visit and the two-part finale.
"Another reason women really dig him is he's an emotional guy and he's not afraid to show it," Slezak said. "It's hard to resist the appeal of a grown man crying tears of joy and not trying to hide it."
Anne Ward, 50, of New York City, said she impressed by Cook's "brotherly relationship" with Archuleta and the humility he showed when he didn't react to Cowell's acid-tongued commentary. Also: his frontman mystique.
"Here's this guy who sings so great, he crosses genres, and he's vulnerable, but yet, we didn't know a lot about him. And he's sort of soulful when he sings," said Ward, who has downloaded almost all of Cook's "Idol" songs.
Ward, a longtime fan of the show, said Cook "looks like a man, and he acts like a man," and knows how to milk the camera — but not in an overt, smarmy way (think Constantine Maroulis in season four). She was initially wowed by his musical skills, but didn't "feel the sex appeal factor" until his emotional performance of "Music of the Night" during Andrew Lloyd Webber week.
"It's almost like a courtship," Sharp said of gradual allegiance from other contestants to Cook. "It's been like this slow burn, and all of a sudden our internal 16-year-olds got ignited."
The icing on the cake, Sharp said, was Cook's finale duet with ZZ Top — and the "Guitar Hero" commercial aired during the finale, an homage to Tom Cruise's pants-less lip sync to Bob Seger's "Old Time Rock and Roll" in "Risky Business."
"We're the ones that salivated so heavily over Tom Cruise in `Risky Business' that he really slid to superstardom on a trail of our spittle," she said. "So to see David Cook — who we're firmly in love with — put into those two things ... I mean, it was just a gift. It was a present."
Archuleta did the exact same spot with similar choreography that aired later in the telecast, but it lacked the feral energy and intuition that Cook brought to the role. Cook looked like he knew what he was doing — but the would the angelic Archuleta really rock out in his skivvies if his parents left him home alone?
"They're both very talented, but it really boils down to what does it for you: A sexy hot man or Webkinz come to life?" she asked. "Is your cell phone studded with glitter, or do you just have a regular cell phone like I do?"
By ERIN CARLSON, Associated Press Writer Thu May 22, 7:27 PM ET
NEW YORK - "Cougars 4 Cook."
There it was, on a poster in the "American Idol" audience last week, after David Cook belted Roberta Flack's "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face" in the Key of Emo. And that slogan — not to mention the woman who hoisted it — speaks to the 25-year-old singer's popularity with, ahem, women of a certain age.
Maybe it's his edgy-yet-mainstream appeal, sly grin, sparkling hazel eyes, facial scruff, love for crossword puzzles, love for his mom and brothers. Or perhaps it's the way he broke down in tears after his final performance, a rock-anthem arrangement of "The World I Know," which he rebelliously defended from Simon Cowell's criticism.
Somewhere down the line, the Midwest-raised former bartender became a sex symbol for scores of women who are practically old enough to be his mom. And clearly, they voted.
Linda Sharp, smitten as a schoolgirl, voted 473 times for Cook after Tuesday's final performance show. The 42-year-old married mom used her land-line and cell phone — as well as her three daughters' cell phones — to show support for the singer. "The biggest thing: He's legal, and that goes a long way," said Sharp, who's from Austin, Texas. "He's 25. That's old enough that we can openly ogle him, and we can drool over him, and it doesn't make us feel like we could be his mother."
The same couldn't be said for 17-going-on-13 David Archuleta, the kid from Murray, Utah, whose booming, mature voice belies a youthful innocence and humility that, at times, bordered on painful to watch. Cook, by stark contrast, was increasingly self-assured as the year wore on.
Sharp writes "Idol" recaps on her blog "Don't Get Me Started," which attracts the soccer-mom set, who've praised the various talents of Cook. After she posted the "Risky Business"-inspired "Guitar Hero" commercial starring Cook, one commenter said: "Mmmmmmmmmmmmm. Need I say more?" Another wrote: "Have I died? Is this heaven? I'll take it!"
Apparently these women weren't just smitten with a younger man, they were motivated, too: In a landslide victory, Cook, from Blue Springs, Mo., beat Archuleta by a margin of 12 million votes out of the record 97.5 million cast by viewers.
"American Idol" had slipped in the overall ratings this season, but Wednesday's finale was seen by 31.7 million people — about a million more than the year before, according to Nielsen data — suggesting the show swiftly gathered momentum after it boiled down to man vs. boy.
And the biggest viewer erosion in season seven was right in Archuleta's voting bloc. Ratings fell 18 percent among women aged 18-34; and 12 percent among teenagers 12-17. Also apparently in Cook's favor: Viewership has risen among people aged 50 and over, and the median age of an "Idol" viewer, once in the mid-30s, is now up to 42.
"I'm exposed to the Jonas Brothers and the `High School Musical' crowd and all of that, but as cute as I might think they are, they do make me feel maternal — not hot," Sharp said. "So watching David Cook, I think that's been a huge appeal for thirty/forty/fiftysomethings that 'We're not dead.' We might drive the soccer minivan, (but) we're just picky about what perks us up."
Apparently, they can be picky about hair, too.
Michael Slezak, a senior writer at Entertainment Weekly magazine, said Cook became "almost unstoppable" after getting rid of that unfortunate comb-forward haircut in the middle of the seventh season.
"If someone had told me 14 weeks ago that David Cook would turn out to be this season's sex symbol, I wouldn't have believed it," Slezak said. "He had this hideous mop of hair and he looked a little schlubby and, you know, he was just a very average kind of guy with bad hair ... . Getting that side-part during Dolly Parton week was possibly his best strategic move of the season, even more so than his rearrangement of 'Always Be My Baby.'"
With Cook's makeover came growing confidence on stage — and tears. The grainy-voiced rocker recently wept during a show while his older brother, Adam, who is battling advanced brain cancer, sat in the audience. He cried during his hometown visit and the two-part finale.
"Another reason women really dig him is he's an emotional guy and he's not afraid to show it," Slezak said. "It's hard to resist the appeal of a grown man crying tears of joy and not trying to hide it."
Anne Ward, 50, of New York City, said she impressed by Cook's "brotherly relationship" with Archuleta and the humility he showed when he didn't react to Cowell's acid-tongued commentary. Also: his frontman mystique.
"Here's this guy who sings so great, he crosses genres, and he's vulnerable, but yet, we didn't know a lot about him. And he's sort of soulful when he sings," said Ward, who has downloaded almost all of Cook's "Idol" songs.
Ward, a longtime fan of the show, said Cook "looks like a man, and he acts like a man," and knows how to milk the camera — but not in an overt, smarmy way (think Constantine Maroulis in season four). She was initially wowed by his musical skills, but didn't "feel the sex appeal factor" until his emotional performance of "Music of the Night" during Andrew Lloyd Webber week.
"It's almost like a courtship," Sharp said of gradual allegiance from other contestants to Cook. "It's been like this slow burn, and all of a sudden our internal 16-year-olds got ignited."
The icing on the cake, Sharp said, was Cook's finale duet with ZZ Top — and the "Guitar Hero" commercial aired during the finale, an homage to Tom Cruise's pants-less lip sync to Bob Seger's "Old Time Rock and Roll" in "Risky Business."
"We're the ones that salivated so heavily over Tom Cruise in `Risky Business' that he really slid to superstardom on a trail of our spittle," she said. "So to see David Cook — who we're firmly in love with — put into those two things ... I mean, it was just a gift. It was a present."
Archuleta did the exact same spot with similar choreography that aired later in the telecast, but it lacked the feral energy and intuition that Cook brought to the role. Cook looked like he knew what he was doing — but the would the angelic Archuleta really rock out in his skivvies if his parents left him home alone?
"They're both very talented, but it really boils down to what does it for you: A sexy hot man or Webkinz come to life?" she asked. "Is your cell phone studded with glitter, or do you just have a regular cell phone like I do?"
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
American Idol
Just finished watching tonight's show. It was clear that David Archuletta sang to win and David Cook just sang to have fun. I think David C. knows that he's got a record deal regardless of the outcome so he just did what he wanted to do. Of course I voted for him!!
Anyone really care? Probably not. I just needed to get my opinion out there. :)
Anyone really care? Probably not. I just needed to get my opinion out there. :)
Saturday, May 17, 2008
5 year anniversary
Five years ago today, Evan's trach became a thing of the past. Mike took it out at 7:15 a.m. and we've never looked back. It's just so hard to believe 5 years have gone by. We feel so incredibly blessed that his airway has grown as it should since his surgery in 8/02 and that we've been able to move forward. I felt as though I was dreaming that day. I couldn't believe that he was actually breathing thru his mouth and nose. My parents and sister came to Cincinnati later that morning (the trach came out while he was in the hospital-we had to stay for two nights), my cousin and his wife from Cincinnati joined us as well as Pastor Bob Thomas and family who also lived there. It was quite the party and the hospital even brought us a cake and ice cream to celebrate! The first picture was from about 3 weeks prior to decannulation (we were able to cap off his trach then), the 2nd picture was that morning in the hospital and the 3rd picture was from about 6 days later. Looking back, I sometimes wonder how the heck we got thru those first 2 1/2 years-who were those people? :)
Friday, May 16, 2008
I left my heart...................
I have been invited to join a group from the hospital to a conference in San Francisco in September! Oh, I love that city. Unfortunately I won't have too much free time but I don't care. I went with a friend in 1996 (after we went to the Atlanta Olympics-I miss my travel days) and we had a fabulous time. We went to wine country, visited Alcatraz, Chinatown, etc. I made my friend drive over the Golden Gate bridge though because I'm not a fan of bridges. Anyhow, it sounds like I may have to give my NICU presentation as well-excuse me while I go throw up................
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
American Idol
All I have to say is this-I LOVE David Cook!! I even voted last night-first time all year. He HAS to make the finals. OK, my work here is done.
It's now 10:08 PM Wed. night and my boy is in the finale!! I think it's safe to say that I have a teensy weensy crush on him-of course he could really be my son given his age but who cares? A girl can dream, right?
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Get your mammograms!!
Think of this as my PSA for the year-well, who knows, I may have another one! Anyhow, the following is an article my mom wrote for the church newsletter, hoping to get support for the local Madison county Relay for Life team.
It was early summer 2001 and my husband Jim and I were making plans to take a fishing trip. We had made our reservations at a beautiful lodge on the French River in Canada; private cabins, maid service, great meals (I don't do camping), peace and quiet and good fishing. We had been there before, but we enjoyed different routes; we were trying to figure out our travel plans when the phone rang. A doctor from Mt. Carmel was on the line-he very calmly told me that the biopsy I had showed cancer cells. I had had an ultrasound done for my yearly mammogram the past two years, but this time indicated a biopsy was necessary. He wanted to schedule surgery but Jim, being retired from OSU, wanted me to go to the James Cancer center. So instead of going fishing, an appointment was made with a surgeon and on August 14, a single mastectomy was performed. The team at Stoneridge James Care were wonderful as far as all the preparations for surgery was concerned. I felt completely confident about what would take place; we were thrilled to find out at the time of the surgery that the lymph nodes showed no cancer cells. However, after I had returned home, the surgeon called to say that the cancer cells had showed up in the lab specimen, so back to the hospital to have 15 more lymph nodes removed. Recovery went as it was suppose to and for the next 5 years, I saw the surgeon and oncologist ; alternating visits every three months. Due to the fact that I had suffered a heart attack in 1999, the oncologist did not want to prescribe chemotherapy. I began to take Tamoxifen and now take Aromasin. I now see the surgeon and oncologist once a year, six months apart for an annual check-up and count my blessings every day.
I know that from that summer of 2001 until today, I have lived my life on a great tide of prayers, love and support from my church, family and friends, as well as superior medical supervision. I am so grateful that my cancer was discovered; I had already had a wonderfully full life and it is heartbreaking to see the many young women receiving treatment today. Right now, though not perfect, mammograms and self-breast exams are so very important. Please, if you are able, support you local Madison county Relay for Life; we never know who will be blessed by our gifts.
It was early summer 2001 and my husband Jim and I were making plans to take a fishing trip. We had made our reservations at a beautiful lodge on the French River in Canada; private cabins, maid service, great meals (I don't do camping), peace and quiet and good fishing. We had been there before, but we enjoyed different routes; we were trying to figure out our travel plans when the phone rang. A doctor from Mt. Carmel was on the line-he very calmly told me that the biopsy I had showed cancer cells. I had had an ultrasound done for my yearly mammogram the past two years, but this time indicated a biopsy was necessary. He wanted to schedule surgery but Jim, being retired from OSU, wanted me to go to the James Cancer center. So instead of going fishing, an appointment was made with a surgeon and on August 14, a single mastectomy was performed. The team at Stoneridge James Care were wonderful as far as all the preparations for surgery was concerned. I felt completely confident about what would take place; we were thrilled to find out at the time of the surgery that the lymph nodes showed no cancer cells. However, after I had returned home, the surgeon called to say that the cancer cells had showed up in the lab specimen, so back to the hospital to have 15 more lymph nodes removed. Recovery went as it was suppose to and for the next 5 years, I saw the surgeon and oncologist ; alternating visits every three months. Due to the fact that I had suffered a heart attack in 1999, the oncologist did not want to prescribe chemotherapy. I began to take Tamoxifen and now take Aromasin. I now see the surgeon and oncologist once a year, six months apart for an annual check-up and count my blessings every day.
I know that from that summer of 2001 until today, I have lived my life on a great tide of prayers, love and support from my church, family and friends, as well as superior medical supervision. I am so grateful that my cancer was discovered; I had already had a wonderfully full life and it is heartbreaking to see the many young women receiving treatment today. Right now, though not perfect, mammograms and self-breast exams are so very important. Please, if you are able, support you local Madison county Relay for Life; we never know who will be blessed by our gifts.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Mothers Day
The day is winding down-it's been a very nice one. We went to church this morning and then my mom took all of us out to the new Japanese steakhouse near my house. Everyone then came to our house for dessert. My mom sat us all down and told us she had something she wanted to give us and she couldn't wait until Christmas so we were to think of it as a late or early Christmas present. Classic Rosemary. Anyhow, she gave us all ornaments that have a piece of a flannel shirt that my dad used to always wear. She gave one to each couple and then one to each grandson. The flip side of the ornament says the fabric of our family is woven out of love. Well, we all got a bit teary with that one!
I'm so mad at myself because all morning I had thought about having someone take a picture of Mom, Liz and me but then of course I forgot once they were all here at my house. AHHHHH!!!!
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Insomnia still a mystery
The good news is that I don't have any thyroid issues although it would of been nice to have something to blame my insomnia on! I've been taking the sleeping aid that was prescribed on Monday and I'm done with it. He said to start with a half, then a whole, then 2 if needed. Up until last night, it didn't do a thing for me but actually keep me awake! I took 2 last night and I slept but I dreamed all night-mainly about Jeff Probst from Survivor-what??? The problem with this drug is that it's old and it causes you to be somewhat groggy in the a.m.-something I do not need. When Ambien and Lunesta actually worked for me, you have no side effects. I can't do groggy. So, next is a visit to the OB/GYN. I'm looking for a new one and I think I have one in mind so I'm hoping she's taking new patients. What I do not want someone to tell me is that I'm heading into menopause-I would really cry with that one!!
Friday, May 9, 2008
It's been a long week!
This week was probably the busiest one I've had at work yet. My co-worker has been gone for two weeks on jury duty and I've been giving a presentation about my NICU stay every day that I've worked-sometimes twice a day. I've been a part of a work group that has developed a program to remind staff members how they appear to families. Our goal is to help them remember to focus not only on the baby but on the families as well. The hour long mandatory inservice includes a video of some former parents talking about their experience, a role play video which goes over the wrong way and the right way to handle certain situations and then a powerpoint presentation given by me or my co-worker. I have to say people have been very moved by my story and some will get tears in their eyes which is exactly what we hoped to do. I was nervous the very first day but that didn't last long and now I'm very comfortable. I used to have to speak in front of employee groups ALL THE TIME in my past life but it's been a long time since I've had to do it! The inservices will continue through the month of May and then we will be taking the program to our other Children's NICUs in various hospitals across the city. Our next goal is to do this in front of the attendings and residents as they sometimes are the ones that really need to be reminded about family-centered care! I'm enjoying it very much as I feel it's breaking down some barriers that were there with some of the staff-some have been so open to the parent advisors and others, not so much.
Enjoy your weekend!
Enjoy your weekend!
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Mother: A Cradle to Hold Me
Mother: A Cradle to Hold Me
It is true
I was created in you.
It is also true
That you were created for me.
I owned your voice.
It was shaped and tuned to soothe me.
Your arms were molded
Into a cradle to hold me, to rock me.
The scent of your body was the air
Perfumed for me to breathe.
Mother,
During those early, dearest days
I did not dream that you had
A larger life which included me,
Among your other concerns,
For I had a life
Which was only you.
Time passed steadily and drew us apart.
I was unwilling.
I feared if I let you go
You would leave me eternally.
You smiled at my fears, saying
I could not stay in your lap forever
That one day you would have to stand
And where would I be?
You smiled again.
I did not.
Without warning you left me,
But you returned immediately.
You left again and returned,
I admit, quickly.
But relief did not rest with me easily.
You left again, but again returned.
You left again, but again returned.
Each time you reentered my world
You brought assurance.
Slowly I gained confidence.
You thought you knew me,
But I did know you,
You thought you were watching me,
But I did hold you securely in my sight,
Recording every movement,
Memorizing your smiles, tracing your frowns.
In your absence
I rehearsed you,
The way you had of singing
On a breeze,
While a sob lay
At the root of your song.
The way you posed your head
So that the light could caress your face
When you put your fingers on my hand
And you hand on my arm,
I was blessed with a sense of health,
Of strength and very good fortune.
You were always
The heart of happiness to me,
Bringing nougats of glee,
Sweets of open laughter.
I loved you even during the years
When you knew nothing
And I knew everything, I loved you still.
Condescendingly of course,
From my high perch
Of teenage wisdom.
I spoke sharply to you, often
Because you were slow to understand.
I grew older and
Was stunned to find
How much knowledge you had gleaned.
And so quickly.
Mother, I have learned enough now
To know I have learned nearly nothing.
On this day
When mothers are being honored,
Let me thank you
That my selfishness, ignorance, and mockery
Did not bring you to
Discard me like a broken doll
Which had lost its favor.
I thank you that
You still find something in me
To cherish, to admire, and to love.
I thank you, Mother.
I love you.
-Maya Angelou
It is true
I was created in you.
It is also true
That you were created for me.
I owned your voice.
It was shaped and tuned to soothe me.
Your arms were molded
Into a cradle to hold me, to rock me.
The scent of your body was the air
Perfumed for me to breathe.
Mother,
During those early, dearest days
I did not dream that you had
A larger life which included me,
Among your other concerns,
For I had a life
Which was only you.
Time passed steadily and drew us apart.
I was unwilling.
I feared if I let you go
You would leave me eternally.
You smiled at my fears, saying
I could not stay in your lap forever
That one day you would have to stand
And where would I be?
You smiled again.
I did not.
Without warning you left me,
But you returned immediately.
You left again and returned,
I admit, quickly.
But relief did not rest with me easily.
You left again, but again returned.
You left again, but again returned.
Each time you reentered my world
You brought assurance.
Slowly I gained confidence.
You thought you knew me,
But I did know you,
You thought you were watching me,
But I did hold you securely in my sight,
Recording every movement,
Memorizing your smiles, tracing your frowns.
In your absence
I rehearsed you,
The way you had of singing
On a breeze,
While a sob lay
At the root of your song.
The way you posed your head
So that the light could caress your face
When you put your fingers on my hand
And you hand on my arm,
I was blessed with a sense of health,
Of strength and very good fortune.
You were always
The heart of happiness to me,
Bringing nougats of glee,
Sweets of open laughter.
I loved you even during the years
When you knew nothing
And I knew everything, I loved you still.
Condescendingly of course,
From my high perch
Of teenage wisdom.
I spoke sharply to you, often
Because you were slow to understand.
I grew older and
Was stunned to find
How much knowledge you had gleaned.
And so quickly.
Mother, I have learned enough now
To know I have learned nearly nothing.
On this day
When mothers are being honored,
Let me thank you
That my selfishness, ignorance, and mockery
Did not bring you to
Discard me like a broken doll
Which had lost its favor.
I thank you that
You still find something in me
To cherish, to admire, and to love.
I thank you, Mother.
I love you.
-Maya Angelou
It's 2 a.m.
I'm more than awake. Evan has a sinus infection and he's been up coughing for the past 1/2 hour. He was put on an antibiotic on Monday and while he's had some coughing fits the past few mornings, this is the first middle of the night one. I'm beyond exhausted. My doctor prescribed yet another sleep aid on Monday and I swear it kept me up Monday night and seems to be having the same effect tonight. He did do a thyroid panel and he should have the results today. I just want to scream!! Maybe cry too.
Monday, May 5, 2008
It's official
I've lost my mind. Good thing I'm going to the dr. today. Turns out I left an entire 1/2 gallon of ice cream (minus a small dish) on the kitchen counter last night. How could I not put it back in the freezer? I even came back in the kitchen to put the dish in the dishwasher. It makes me want to cry. I had a coupon for a free 1/2 gallon of ice cream from Kroger-thank God it was free, that's all I have to say! Now I'm going to go bang my head against the wall.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Vet Day
Well, I had my good cry for the month this morning. Today is Vet Day at Evan's school. Students from the vet school come for the morning-they bring animals-and each child is paired with a student. They spend the morning with their buddy, checking out all the animals. As most of you know, my dad was a professor at the vet college and he would of been thrilled to know that this event takes place every year at Colerain. This is one of those days that I just wish I could pick up the phone and call him.
I love you Daddy. :)
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