The game ball

Evan has struggled this baseball season with hitting. At the beginning of the season, he seemed to have better luck with the bat and ball actually connecting but recently not so much. I feel bad for him because every time he gets up to bat, he has all 4 coaches giving him instruction so it's no wonder he got a little nervous each time. My sister played softball for years-high school, college and beyond. She gave him some help on Sunday and lo and behold, he got a hit last night at his game!! I wanted to cry. He made it to 1st base and then after the next batter, to 2nd. At the end of the game, the coach said that we usually don't give out game balls if we lose, but tonight he wanted to give it to Evan. He was so proud of himself. It goes without saying that Mike and I were very proud too! Tonight, he was excited to practice with Mike out in the yard, both hitting and catching. 4 more weeks of baseball.............

Michael Jackson

His death really hit me hard. I loved The Jackson 5. Remember the Saturday morning cartoon that was on? I loved The Jacksons ( I think when they changed record labels they had to change their name). I LOVED Michael Jackson. Not the Michael of today but the Michael of the late 70s and 80s. I remember exactly where I was when I saw the Thriller video for the first time-at my cousin Jim's in Cincinnati. I think it was the 10 p.m. showing of it on MTV. I'm sad for his family, for his children. Those poor, poor children. Who knows what type of a life they had with Michael-I don't doubt that he loved them but I'm not sure of the stability of their situation. Today when I walked, it was all Jacksons, all the time on the iPod! I had my own little tribute to him. Thank God it was early in the morning or more people (other than the couple that scared me as I rounded a corner) would of seen me dancing down the street to Wanna Be Startin' Something. Singing too. "Ma ma se, ma ma sa, ma ma coo sa". The day he died I felt as though a piece of my childhood and young adulthood died with too. Does that sound a little overdramatic? Perhaps, but it's exactly how I feel. RIP Michael. I can only hope you found the peace in death that you couldn't seem to find in life.

My visit with the ENT

I finally got to see the ENT today about the persistent ringing in my right ear. This has been going on since late winter and it's becoming very irritating, especially at night. An audiologist first did a hearing test on me and much to my surprise, I have hearing loss to high frequency noises in my right ear. I can't say that I have noticed any loss so that really threw me for a loop. Unfortunately, not much can be done for ringing in the ears or tinnitus. The first thing though when this occurs is to get a MRI to rule out a tumor. At the time of my appointment, I thought, what a pain in the ass. I've had MRIs before and I don't like them and this one sounds awful because they inject dye into me that would show any abnormalities in my head right away. So, I'm like, okay, let's get this schedule ASAP. Later today, I got an email from a friend of mine asking for prayer for her friend who has a brain tumor. I thought, oh poor Heidi. Clicked on the link to her blog to read more about it and boom, as I'm reading, I realize that her tumor is one that develops in the inner ear and in her case, has started going into her brain. She mentioned some of the symptoms she's been experiencing and hmmm, ringing in the ear which is the same ear that they discovered high frequency hearing loss after testing her. Headaches that don't go away with any medication-well, I've been experiencing those types of headaches for awhile now. Can I just say that now I'm freaked out JUST A LITTLE BIT?? Anyhow, please keep Heidi and her family in your prayers. Here is a link to her blog: http://addyandgriswold.blogspot.com

Father's Day

This is a picture of Dad from Father's Day 2004, his last one before given the ALS diagnosis. He wasn't with us at home that year but that was fine. He was doing something that he LOVED to do. He was way up north in Ontario (they had to be flown in to their destination), fishing with some friends. He loved those trips that they took-to me, they sounded horrible. Too rugged for this princess!!

Mom and I were a mess at church. We shouldn't sit next to each other on certain days. I was a little weepy early this morning when I walked but really wasn't feeling too emotional when I got to church. Well, that changed very quickly! This is going to sound very silly and perhaps strange but oh well, bear with me. The kids are up front for the children's special time. At this point in the service, I was thinking of Dad and as usual, looking over to the area of the sanctuary where he always sat. So, the pastor opens "the box"-each Sunday a different child gets to take this wooden box home and put something in it (nothing dead, wet or alive) and Steve then has to open it and give a little sermon about it. So, he opens the box and pulls out Speed Stick deodorant. Everyone laughed of course but it made me cry because it was the kind my dad used. I told you, silly and maybe a little strange!! Well, that's all it took. Then, during the offertory, a lovely older couple sang "Just a Closer Walk with Thee", a favorite of my dad's. Boo hoo, the tears continued. When I said good-bye to my mom, she said it was fun crying with me in church today. Only my mother would say that. :)

Our quick trip to Boston

Lunch at Stephanie's on Newbury St.
Evan driving the boat!

He was so happy

Loved it

Lobsta claw

Fisherman statue

Didn't matter that the sun wasn't out

It's cold!

What a great time we had. It was a quick trip but we packed alot in. I'm still recovering! Our flight was at 7 a.m. on Friday morning so we were in Boston by 9. Let me tell you. If you need to fly, tell them you are traveling with someone that needs a wheelchair 'cause they cater to your every need! We joked that Mom will now be going with us whenever we fly-she said we could just leave her at an airport hotel in whatever city we're visiting and then come back for her when it's time to go. :) She's alot of fun to go on trips with and she even admitted that flying again after many years wasn't so bad. She was always used to going places with my dad and he would hold her hand and calm her fears. Evan sat with her and made sure he that as well. It was sweet to see.

We spent time in Needham on Friday (Uncle Bill, Aunt Mary, cousins Julie/Jim and Barbara/Ken and family live there) then all of us went up to Gloucester on Saturday. Jim and Julie have kept their boat there for years and now have bought a little place near the marina. It's darling and I want to live there. Jim got up early Saturday morning and caught quite a few lobsters that we then had for dinner Saturday night. Talk about fresh! We also got a chance to go out on the boat and it was as fabulous as I remember from when we went 2 years ago. Evan got to drive as you can see in the video in my last post. He was on cloud 9. Can I just say that I love the ocean and I love the New England coast? I can see why Jim and Julie want to retire in Gloucester. I truly do. Sunday wasn't quite as nice a day but Evan and J & J's niece Hayley still went in the ocean-I don't know how they did it 'cause I was cold! We all gathered in Needham Sunday night for dinner and then home Monday afternoon. It went by so fast, so, so fast. I've said it before and I'll say it again-I love my family. :)

Oh, and more thing. Jim is a native Bostonian so he's got quite the accent. He taught Evan how to say Gloucester and lobster so in a letter that Evan sent them this week, he wrote that he had so much fun in "Glastah" eating "lobstah". Swear to God-I didn't prompt him to do that! Love it.

Gloucester

Will write about the trip at a later date-Evan begged me to get the videos on so he can show his friends tomorrow! He got to drive Jim's boat AND put a lobster in the lobster pot. :) You need to watch the video on bottom first and then the one above it next. I could attempt to move them around in the right order but that's too much work!

End of school

1st ball game
Evan and Elliott
Spring concert

Awards ceremony

Trophy for honor roll

So the end of school is coming to a close. I can't believe my little guy is going to be in 3rd grade! It just doesn't seem possible. He had his spring choir concert on Friday and then today was the awards ceremony. He made honor roll all 4 grading periods so he was given a trophy. That's two years in a row. I'm just so proud of him. In my attempts to clean up some files in the office, I came across this. I had written it on a post-it note and I have no idea when or where I saw it.

Before you were conceived I wanted you.

Before you were born I loved you.

Before you were here an hour I would die for you.

This is the miracle of life.

So much for no more babies

Why is nothing easy? I show up at 10 as instructed, having taken Valium, a Percocet, a 600 mg ibuprofen and an anti-nausea med. Wait until 11 when the dr. finally comes out and proceeds to tell me that something is going on with their equipment (scope) and that he had been working with the other dr. for an hour w/this other patient trying to get it to work so that they have a clear picture. No luck so no procedure today. As you can imagine, I was not happy since I have had to wait a YEAR for today to happen. I was a bit out of it from the drugs so then came home and slept for almost 3 hours. Talk about a wasted day which I HATE!! The scheduler will be calling on Monday-I'm not sure that she'll want to talk with me because I will have alot to say about this!

It's now Monday afternoon. Just called the scheduler since I hadn't heard from her this morning. Oh, she's gone until Thursday. How convenient. I'm re-thinking this whole thing 'cause now I'm getting pissed!

We did go out later and see Night At the Museum so all was not lost on the day. I love going movies with Evan and watching him laugh. :)

No more babies

So, I'm having this procedure done on Saturday that will take care of birth control FOREVER. I'm feeling very sad because while I know I don't want to be pregnant at age 46, it's just weird to know that once this procedure is done, that's it. There is no chance of pregnancy ever again. Just experiencing mixed emotions about the whole thing. I've always felt bad that Evan doesn't have any siblings but if I had had another baby, there was the chance of pre-eclampsia developing again and I got really sick the first time around. We were lucky it didn't develop until 30 weeks and that he made it until 33 weeks. Very lucky. We were very lucky that I didn't have seizures or experience organ failure. It's a scary condition and it scared us enough to not take that chance. Plus, we were pretty caught up in all of Evan's medical stuff for the those first few years that I couldn't imagine dealing with a pregnancy/baby while dealing with a trach and feeding tube! By the time Evan was in preschool and things were going well, I was just too damn old and tired to think about starting again! The only thing I am looking forward to on Saturday is the Valium and Percocet that I get to take. :)